XKCD Thing Explainer Prize
My scoring analysis
Estimated points total: ~211
- (250 simple words)
- 3 characters (30 points)
- 5 Oscar winning movies (a beautiful mind, her, the hours, the third man, funny girl) (22.33 points)
- 3 lines iambic pentameter (17.32 points)
- 9 acrostics of lengths: 4,7,6,4,7,3,3,4,4 (help, chances, hotter, alone, yelling, had, ago, f**k, this) (14.7 points)
- 18 consecutive words forming digits of pi (starting: ‘say “I give’) (13.33 points)
- 30 consecutive words made of chemical element symbols (26.13 points)
- 31 consecutive words in alphabetical order (16.7 points)
- 3 tube anagrams (Morden Edgware>men agreed word, Hillingdon Cockfosters>so long circled thinks of, Stanmore Stratford>torn forms started a) (8.04 + 9.49 + 7.6 = 25.14 points OR 8.33 + 9.73 + 7.9 = 25.96 points)
- 16 highest factorial factor (16 points)
- 8 different words of 8 letters (1 repeated) (8 points)
- 0 words that score 15 in Scrabble (11.56 points)
- 2 letters used an odd number of times (9 points)
- (A few poetically licensed, non-scoring, flourishes.) (e.g. Last 4 acrostics.)
My Entry
The story is on the website, but here’s a copy anyway:
A man, alone, removed, his heart confused. He loves the girl but she another man. The third, surprised, knows not at all of them.
She wants a beautiful mind. His efforts, less pretty. He ThInKS He CaN WIn HEr IF SHe NoTiCeS HIS BRaInS. IF He PrOVEs He KNOWS ReAsON. IF He CaN Be FUNNiEr. HIS PaInS, ONCe HIS HoPEs, NeVEr PAuSe. He needs to explain things. Cares he almost never can easily say. He often tries, though expects refusing. At last, one new effort.
The third, the reader, the funny sir from across the sea, a man who can say “I give a thing explainer to anyone there who tells greatest imagining”. However, questions put to him first needed work and then the men agreed word play and language most hard must be used. Why?
The hours pass, his mind, the lettered paths so long circled, thinks of only broken words. Finally, among those torn forms, started a very pleasing picture. A chance to show he sees a beautiful, caring, deep, exciting, funny girl. Heart heavy, his hopes, however, ignored, jokes knocked, love missed, nothing offered or promised, quietly refused. She stays true, until very worn, writing. Yes, even love loses if not grabbed. Cry.
The third man laughs, perhaps, or cries, time continues for him. The girl, an image of a beautiful mind, fades from view. The man, his story written, remains alone, confused. Holding a dream. Another game over.
Finally understanding, chances killed. Tonight he is silent.